Insecruities and Women and by the way I hate my job!!!

So today I was on my way to work and I was thinking about women. I wonder why is it that we don't get along. You know how sometimes you'll hear a woman say things like, "I don't have alot of female friends". I wonder why. So here is what I came up with. It is because of insercurity. For some reason we are always worried about our short comings. So we make snide remarks to our friends and act like it's nothing, when really deep down inside I think it's because we are not so sure of ourselves. I told a friend a few years back before I was Muslim, that I didn't like off the shoulder dress and her response was "well I have always had really nice shoulders so that would not be a problem for me" ok, so does that mean I don't have nice shoulders????? I don't know, but I really think there are some underlying insecurities there that weren't discussed.

For some unknown reason, and I don't know where it's taught, but we as women don't ever think we, who we are at this very moment are enough. You know we don't think we are smart enough to get that job, pretty enough to get the man we want or keep the man we have, strong enough to be good mothers, we never think we know enough about Islam. JUST NEVER ENOUGH. Because of that we have a hard time being sisters. Due to our own insecurities it's hard to be friends with someone if you think she may be smarter than you, prettier than you, have better body than you, be a better mother, or friend than you.

Now I consider myself to be a women that does have alot of girlfriends. So I got to thinking, why do I have so many sisters/friends? I realize that we are all women who are secure in ourselves, we don't compare ourselves to each other and we celebrate each others differences and even laugh at ourselves together. I guess just somewhere between our mid 20's and our mid 30's, we discovered that we are enough. We, just how we are right now, are enough. We are smart enough to get that job, pretty enough, strong enough to be comfortable with who we are. And when one of us forgets we remind each other that we are enough.

I really appreciate my sister circle, I love them for trusting in themselves, and just being comfortable with who they are and even though I am so very different than they are, they are comfortable with me being comfortable with who I am too.

So I think that once we realize that we, just as the creator has created us is Alright, than I think we can really be sisters!!


So now another thought, and please bear with me people, it's been a while since I have posted :-)

I am a customer service rep for an health insurance company. I have been a telephone customer service rep for 4 of the 6, almost 7 years I have worked for this company. I mean I am ready to just never return to that job again. Today, just for a fraction of a second I was thinking I should just jump out the window!!! Does anyone out there know what I mean? (hijabi does) I need to find a different career path. I want to do something that will let me work from home, so I can be with my 1 and 2 year old rug rats! So I want to go back to the basics. I went to school and got a degree in hospitality management (hotel and restaurants). I want to start my own event planning business. So I am volunteering to put events together for free (right now) so I can gain more experience to add to my resume. (so if you know some one in the pacific north west that needs and event put together let me know)Then I'm going to start my business, Insha'Allah. But what do I do until then??? Any suggestions??? Has anyone out there been where I am??? I AM GOING BANANA'S!!!!